It was a mild, beautiful day in June when I gave birth to my third son, Taylor. My husband Paul and I opted not to know the sex of any of our children, so we were delighted to see another, strapping boy. My joy turned to dismay when one of the nurses recited the incredibly annoying poem, “A daughter is a daughter for all of her life, a son is a son until he takes a wife.” Not a clever thing to say to a mom fresh out of the delivery room, with pain meds wearing off.
As it turned out, many well-meaning friends and family decided to help me remember this poem. As I held my little guys close, I couldn’t help feeling like they were going to be ripped from my “mommy arms” by three future, faceless, nameless women – never to see them again. Yikes! Imagine my trauma.
…the Lord reminded me that this little “ditty”
was worldly thinking
and that He created the family.
Yes! I agree that my son’s first priority will be to his bride, but surely there was room for liking his parents still? As I thought about this dilemma, the Lord reminded me that this little “ditty” was worldly thinking and that He created the family.
I decided that I was going to use
a mom’s greatest weapon against
negative and fearful thinking:
God never meant for a man to say “hasta la vista, baby” to his parents when he married. Our relationship would obviously shift, but in a healthy, “next-step” kind of way. So I decided that I was going to use a mom’s greatest weapon against negative and fearful thinking: prayer.
Sometimes we forget that we have
spiritual authority over our families.
God gave us the gift of Jesus whose name is above all names (Philippians 2:9). Sometimes we forget that we have spiritual authority over our families. I have prayed, first and foremost, for my sons to be Godly, Christian men that would seek a personal relationship with Jesus (Romans 10:9, John 3:3). Each of them blessedly made this commitment at an early age.
I actually starting praying for their future spouses when they were still in diapers. I’m a strong believer in sending the prayers ahead. I’ve always considered these women to be my future daughters-in-love. You read that right, it’s not a typo. They will be my daughters-in-love, not “law.”
My desire is to love them as
daughters with the love of Christ.
My desire is to love them as daughters with the love of Christ. I’ve knocked on heaven’s door for many years asking God to help me to have loving, healthy, and respectful relationships with these future daughters. I pray for discernment to know when to speak and more importantly, when to cover my mouth.
I’ve discovered that I’ll never be a perfect mom
but I can be a praying mom.
There are many jokes about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. None of them are aspiring, to say the least, however, I never agreed with this stigma. I have always felt that it just didn’t have to be that way. Not when Jesus came to give life and to give it abundantly (John 10:10). Remember that our words hold power. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7 AMP). We need to speak with a positive attitude into our situations both current and future.
I’ve discovered that I’ll never be a perfect mom but I can be a praying mom. Over the years, I’ve prayed many prayers for my sons. Prayers of protection, boldness in faith, for wisdom and godly discernment, to release them into God’s hands, godly friendships, holiness, good health, to honor authority, knowing God’s love, etc. This list goes on and on.
God has appointed us
watchmen on their behalf.
I’ve also prayed defensive prayers for them. Prayers against the spirit of rebellion and against any weapons being formed against them (Isaiah 54:17). While our sons are being raised into manhood, God has appointed us watchmen on their behalf (Jeremiah 51:12). This means to stand guard against things we see in the physical and spiritual that would cause them harm. For instance, a Spirit-filled young man will attract not only Christian women, but the unbeliever as well. Unbelieving women are drawn to Christ-centered guys like a magnet. It’s simple. They feel safe with a godly guy and sense something that they probably can’t explain. It’s spiritual. So over the years, I’ve prayed that my sons would be a “stench” in the nose of the un-godly woman. And I’ve witnessed this answer to prayer, first hand. God has protected them.
The Lord will always be
a better instructor than me.
I believe my main prayer over the years has been for the Holy Spirit to fill each boy. The Holy Spirit is the spirit of truth (John 16:13) and will help guide and navigate them through this crazy world. God’s Word promises them, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). So pray for the Holy Spirit’s righteousness to fill your children.
God promises that as we seek and abide in Him,
He will give us the desires of our hearts.
The Word also promises that as we train our children in the ways of God, when they’re older, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). I’ve asked God to teach my children His ways through His Word (Isaiah 54:13). The Lord will always be a better instructor than me.
That is truly my desire,
to be the best mother-in-love
that I can be.
So, even though none of my guys are married yet, I live with peace and hope for my sons to love, serve, and continue to grow in Christ. I’m also at peace for my future daughters and the relationship we will share because God promises that as we seek and abide in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). That is truly my desire, to be the best mother-in-love that I can be. I’ve left this need in His capable hands because God’s promises are yes and Amen (2 Corin. 1:20). They will never end in ashes nor silly poems.
A Prayer for Our Sons
I thank you for the honor and privilege of being called “mom.” I humbly ask today that my son would first and foremost invite you into his heart to be his Lord and Savior (Ro.10:9). That he would embark on the spiritual journey of having a personal relationship with Jesus, from an early age (Isa.44:3). Pour out your sweet spirit upon him to guide, teach, and speak to him throughout his life on this side of heaven.
Your Word says that, “I have not, because I’ve asked not” (Ja.4:2b) so I come before your throne of grace and ask for protection, discernment, and wisdom for my son. I pray for a supernatural boldness to stand firm in the faith that You have given him. Lord, surround him with godly friendships. Friends that will stand with him through the fires of this life, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did for Daniel. I pray for submission to authority and a resistance toward rebellion. May he live a life of holiness that pleases you, my Lord. I ask for strength to release my son into your capable hands. You are the lover of his soul and you have made him in your own image (Gen.1:27). I know that you love him with an everlasting love that never fails. Thank you, Father.
Lord, I stand in the gap for my son. May no weapon formed against him prosper (Isa. 54:17). May he be a stench in the nostrils of the non-believing women he may encounter. Keep him pure, in mind and body, for his future wife. Lord, I ask for good health and mental wholeness for him and pray against all sickness and disease, in the Name of Jesus.
I lift up his future bride that you’ve already created for him. The woman that has been ordained from the beginning of time to join together with my son in his future. May she be a godly, pure, sweet, child of God. May my son recognize her as “the one.” I pray that her heart is so hidden in Christ that my son must seek Him first to find her. Let them love one another as Christ loves the church. Join them together in one flesh ministry to fulfill your calling in each of their lives. I also pray for my own relationship with my future daughter-in-love. Help me Lord to be the best mother-in-love that I can be. Knowing when to speak and when to remain still. Give me supernatural sensitivity in this area, Lord. May our relationship be a healthy, peaceful, and loving one. Strengthen me to release my position in my son’s life when he marries.
I send all the praise and glory ahead, Lord, for what You have done and will continue to do in my son’s life. I thank you that my son is the apple of your eye and sits under the wings of your covering (Psalm 17:8). Bless him exceedingly and abundantly in You.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
Cara Rounds lives in Freehold, NJ with her husband and best friend of 32 years, Paul. She works as a Property Manager and sings with her church’s worship team. She says that her greatest accomplishment is the title of “Mom” to her three sons: Erik, Andrew, and Taylor.